Friday Thoughts....



I wrote a few weeks ago on my blog about issues that my 11 year daughter was experiencing at school....and this week those issues have developed.
They got worse and more serious.
I have felt stuck between a rock & a hard place....
I knew we needed to divulge & share certain information but my daughter didn't want me to.
It's really been a challenge.
Every day has felt 48 hours long & I have been racked with worry. 

But events took yet another turn and (thankfully) she realised that not talking about it, not naming names & not asking for help was not going to work.

Bad behaviour is bad behaviour.
Bullies are bullies.
You need to call it what it is - shout and people will usually come running.

She literally woke up this morning & told me that she would go into school & tell the teachers everything. I was on the verge of doing this anyway but to have her agree was a big deal.

And she did exactly what she said she would do.
She talked. They listened.
They were supportive. We have a plan.
My husband & I will see the teachers on Monday.
I am hoping, against hope, that we can move on, that we are going to have a breakthrough.
I don't think it will be solved overnight and I worry about some kind of backlash but some issues will not go away by themselves & I know we've done the right thing.

I feel - for the first time in some weeks - that things will improve.
It's not going to be straightforward, it's definitely been a very harsh & steep learning curve for all of us....and it's not over yet.
But I am hopeful.

When you're little, you think that by the time you reach a certain age, you will know everything.
But of course life isn't like that and it presents continuous challenges....
often when you least expect them & when you aren't at all ready for them.   

Hurtful things have been said to my daughter....
terrible words that you don't even imagine children could even think up. 
She's been thrown into a world that I did not want her to be in.

But it has happened & we will deal with it.

This week-end we will be, once again, reinforcing in lots of subtle ways that our home is her safe haven. We're not going anywhere and home is a dependable and happy place where bad things don't exist.

I'm still working on my 28 Dishes in 28 Days cooking challenge and - in between football matches and cricket practice - plan to spend this week-end cooking as much as possible.

This whole situation has shaken me and I need to spend a little time balancing myself, finding my centre, reassuring myself.
I need to make myself strong again.

Monday - thankfully - will be the start of another week.

And, it's March....which in my book is SPRINGTIME, hoorah!!

Happy Week-end....    








22 comments:

lilac and old roses :

Take heart and strength, thinking of you x

inge :

Oh dear I suppose I would say that if your child is not happy move her. While I would never stand up for bullies as my child was bullied I do believe it is a learned behaviour and bullies usual witness bullying as a learned behaviour. My thoughts are with you but it will work out.

Mary :

I'm so happy you've found a glimmer of hope in that difficult situation. Have a wonderful weekend!

Mally :

Very glad to hear that some hope is creeping in. I hope this is a turning point. How brave of your daughter to come to the decision to ask for help and approach her teachers, you must be so proud. Wishing you a wonderful weekend.

Anonymous :

It's good to hear you are all able to take small steps forward and get through this time together. Hope you have a restful family weekend and lots of delicious food to enjoy together.

Leslie Harris :

Oh Simone, I'm so glad she decided to talk about things and that she felt supported. There's such a life lesson in that. Take a breath my friend and enjoy just hanging out together. Whenever I need replenishment that's what I like best.
I'm so glad you're feeling better.
Leslie (Gwen Moss)

Natasha Calhoun :

Oh Simone, what a horrible situation for your daughter and your family - I'm so glad that you have had a breakthrough this week and really hope that things will continue to improve. You sound like a wonderful mother and your daughter is lucky to have your support. Wishing you all the very best and a little bit jealous that you are heading into spring ;) It is the third day of Autumn here and it has not stopped raining! xox

Cathi :

I have been thinking about you and your daughter and hoping there would be a light at the end of the tunnel for your family. So happy to hear there was a positive turn of events. Keep reassuring her that all will be well in time and savor your time together this weekend as a family. Lots of love and hugs to you, sweet friend! xxoo

Splenderosa :

As I've said before, darling, our children all experience almost the same things growing up. A lot of it is hideous. Hold her close, reassure her as you have. Maybe the kids' parents need to be informed? Love you.

Dianne :

Now see you have been doing a great job in raising her she has seen the light, I too was bullied and believe me it only makes you stronger, and she has supportive parents I didn't. Breathe and have a healing weekend doing your cooking, big hugs to you...

cowparsley :

When you first wrote about this issue, I did wonder whether bullying was the problem. I am pleased that your daughter has shared her worries with you and is now feeling better able to talk about it. My heart goes out to both you and your daughter, it is a horrid situation to be in, one I have experienced as a child a little older than your daughter. I struggled to keep it under wraps for quite sometime, this is an instinctive response and although hard to eventually bring it out in the open, it did bring about a resolution. Hold on in there, it is hugely encouraging to know that your daughter feels able to talk to you, having good communication with her Mother will be truly beneficial as she gets older.

Wishing you a peaceful weekend and lots of love for the week ahead. xx

Young at Heart :

oh good luck.....its so hard trying to get your kids safely through their school days and so awful when horrible things are happening to them....I am so thankful that facebook didn't exist when my son was at school as my cousin's daughter suffered at the hands of her 'friends'......this time will pass.......and as I am begining to discover it really is 'never too late' to realise your dreams....!!

Lori :

I am so glad that you had this breakthrough with your sweet girl. I have been thinking about you both and hope that things get better soon. Enjoy your weekend in the kitchen ~ hugs. xo

louisek :

Hope you are having a lovely relaxing weekend. Enjoy the good food & maybe a glass of wine.

Catherine Robinson :

I'm so pleased your daughter had the strength to speak to the teachers I'm sure she will now have the strength to deal with the bullies, it won't be easy but with loving support from Mum and Dad and a plan (I love a plan) you'll get there...your weekend sounds perfect Simone...balance yourself ready for the beginning of a new week...thinking of you and you're right it's March it's Spring...just can't take my winter coat off yet ;-)
Big HUG
xx

Liz..Arranger :

I wouldn't wish upon you or anyone what you have been going through, and hopefully, the worse is behind you.
Thank you for being so honest. That had to have been a "reaching wits end" decision to open up in this forum.

I think it will be a comfort to some of your readers to hear that they are not alone in their struggles; that even for those who seem to have gotten it right, there will be times of difficulty and struggle.

You and your husband appear to be making all the right moves in changing the situation for the better.

God's blessings on your family.

mikky :

I feel for you, your daughter and your family. Kids at school can be so terribly cruel, it is sad, you wonder why it's so difficult for people just to be nice to each other. I hope things turn around quickly and that your daughter will look forward to going to school again. My heart goes out to you.


:)
mikky
www.todaloos.com

LR @ Magnificent or Egregious :

I completely understand - I went through this when I was a young kid and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Your daughter is very strong and I hope the teachers do not make a huge production out of it (which will only make things worse) ... I hope there is a good resolution to this. All the best.

Joyful :

so sad to hear about yet another case of childhood bullying. i pray you and your family WILL overcome this and you are moving in the right direction. hugs. xx

Joyful :

p.s. i also agree with another of your readers that if it is possible to move your child, do so.

Mumbai :

Don't cook, forget football and what else, take time and spend this weekend with your daughter. She needs you more than everything else. With the help of the teachers I think problems will improve but.....try to talk to the parents of the bulling children, because it's education too.
Children can be so cruel and so sweet.
I wish for your daughter that she come over it.

Misty :

I'm glad she wanted to do something on her own. That says a lot. I hope things can get back to normal fairly quickly.

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